I love letters and although I have not written one in years, as text and email take precedent, I love to re-read the letters I have kept. Thoughts, feelings and places in time, are all captured indefinitely within the sheets of a letter; to be cried over, laughed over, cherished keepsakes of days gone by.
Therefore it is imperative letters do not find their way into the wrong hands. especially cathartic letters that are written with the intent purpose, never to see the light of day!
Blurb~ Resolved to forget Elizabeth Bennet during a winter in London, Fitzwilliam Darcy writes a letter in bitterness of spirit. Frustrated by her growing obsession with the arrogant man, Elizabeth commits her thoughts to paper. But angry people are not always wise, and secret thoughts do not always remain secret. Compelled to face their selfishness and fears, their actions encourage those dearest to them to change as well.
Excerpt~ In
a previous excerpt we saw the scene which culminated in Darcy’s plan to write a
cathartic letter—never meant to be sent—to Elizabeth. As the blurb says, secret
thoughts do not always remain secret and the letter was sent. Darcy is now calling
on Longbourn to settle matters.
An hour later he arrived at Longbourn’s door in fresh clothing. The
house was strangely quiet. He chose the coward’s way out and requested Mr.
Bennet immediately instead of greeting the ladies in the drawing room. Mr.
Bennet did not seem very welcoming and chose to stare at him directly.
“Mr. Darcy, would you care to tell me your reason for visiting
today?”
“I believe I owe you an apology, sir,” he humbly began. “I have
reason to believe a mislaid letter was sent here this morning. In it, among
other things, I insulted your family.”
Mr. Bennet raised an eyebrow, and Darcy had the uneasy feeling that
he was the prey being played with, as a cat toys with a mouse. “And is that the
extent of your travesties?”
“No, sir.” He gulped. “I also declared my love for your daughter,
Miss Elizabeth, and then arrogantly laid out all the reasons I chose not to
offer for her. I insulted her, I blamed her for my own lack of composure, and
now I worry that I have compromised her reputation.”
Mr. Bennet was silent for a long time. “I believe she has sent you a
letter as well. I am inclined to let the issue pass. I understand you have both
exchanged admiration and insults and agree a match is nonsensical.”
This was not how Darcy imagined the meeting to go. “Sir! I...you must
see that there were others who handled these letters. An attachment, even an
engagement, must be presumed.”
“You sound very certain when you have only arrived to the area
yourself, and it has been mere hours since the letters were sent.”
Blast the man! He would make Darcy confess all. “I arrogantly sent
notices to my solicitor and family in hopes of making it seem as though there
was a pre-existing engagement. Before reading Miss Elizabeth’s letter the idea
that she would refuse me never occurred to me.”
“Well, it is as you say. She did not think highly of your insults and
might refuse you, even with what appears to be weighty proof of an engagement.
It is not uncommon for ladies to think better of an attachment.”
Darcy sank back in his chair. “She would harm her reputation? Even
that of her sisters? The engagement would be well known, nothing so easily
silenced. Does she truly think so little of me?”
He had been humbled thoroughly this day. More than this, many times
now he saw that he chose a cowardly way, but now his heart demanded he be brave
and fight. Not because he deserved it, but because he would not harm Elizabeth
if he could help it and did not want to lose hope of her regard.
“Might I speak with Miss Elizabeth, sir? I wish to know her thoughts
on this.”
Mr. Bennet looked surprised, which only humbled Darcy further. The
older gentleman undoubtedly did not believe Darcy was capable of following
another person’s wishes.
“Very well.”
Mr. Bennet excused himself, and after a few moments, Elizabeth was
brought in. Darcy almost knocked over his chair when he stood at her entrance.
She looked more beautiful than he recalled, but was subdued, and he would wager
he saw caution in her eyes.
“You wished to speak with me, sir?”
Was she trembling? Why did he always lose his ability to speak
sensibly around her? She motioned to his seat, and he obeyed her silent
request.
“Mr. Darcy, I am a very selfish creature and, while it may wound your
feelings for me to mention it, I must apologize for my unjust accusations in
my...” she trailed off before quietly finishing, “in my letter.”
“What did you say of me that I did not deserve? Even more so in light
of my letter. I hope you have destroyed it. I wrote harshly, and it is
full of expressions that should justly make you hate me.”
“Please,” she replied staring at her hands. “Please, do not apologize for your letter. It begins in bitterness, but the ending is so full of hopeless love.”
“Please,” she replied staring at her hands. “Please, do not apologize for your letter. It begins in bitterness, but the ending is so full of hopeless love.”
He reached for her hands, but she pulled them away. She turned from
him but said in a shaky voice, “You wrote many sensible things in the letter as
well. It would be an imprudent match for you. My family’s behaviour is
unpardonable. I would be nothing but a blight on your family name, and I bring
nothing but myself.”
He stood at her words. “Elizabeth, you mean everything to me! There
is nothing greater I could desire. Do not I owe it to my family to be happy?”
He had never been more ashamed of his selfishness. In his letter he
sought only to ease his own feelings. Although he did not mean for her to read
his thoughts on her family and connections, it was inexcusable for him to even
think them. If, in the last day, he wondered if he truly loved Elizabeth he
could have no more doubts. Her pain was his, all the worse for it came by his
own hand.
“But would your happiness last? When your family name is diminished,
your wife scorned, and your children unaccepted would you still be happy? What
of your sister?”
“You are rejecting me?” This morning he felt disbelief at the notion.
Now he felt only fear and knew she was every bit justified.
Her voice was low. “The feelings which hindered your earlier regard
will soon allow you to overcome your pain, sir.”
Darcy was silent for a long moment, desperately trying to find some
kind of composure. His heart pounded and every second he was sure it would be
its last beat. He circled around her, willing her to meet his eye. “And what of
you, Elizabeth? Do you still find nothing to esteem in me? You wrote you love
me. Are you willing to go through life without that love?”
She stared at the floor, but he saw her wipe her eyes before she
faced him again to reply. “I am convinced I am the last person in the world you
should marry. We both know you would not be here if not for the letters.”
Panicking he declared, “But the letters are known! In an effort to
affect a pre-existing engagement for us, I even sent a notice to my solicitor
and my relations in London. An engagement is presumed.”
Elizabeth was silent a long moment. “Your letter tells me you think
little of my sense—perhaps rightly so—therefore it should come as no surprise
to you that I am willing to face the consequences of either the assumption of a
broken engagement or corresponding with a gentleman without one. If my family
is harmed, according to your depiction, we do not have much respectability to
lose. My reputation and my family is not your concern.”
Colour drained from his face and he sank down into his chair. Cradling his head in his hands he knew not when Elizabeth quietly left the room. He had been allowed, encouraged, and nearly taught to be selfish and to think of none beyond his own family circle. Elizabeth could scarcely have chosen better words for her reproof. Here now was the true culmination of the plans of his life. Hope was over, entirely over. Alone with his tortured thoughts, he waited until Mr. Bennet returned.
Rose Fairbanks is kindly giving two lucky readers a chance to win an e-book copy of 'Letters from the Heart'. Leave a comment below for a chance to win. Is Elizabeth's refusal one of your favourite scenes? What is and why?
Winner to be announced on the 31st Dec 14 (open internationally). Good Luck everyone! Thank you again Rose, for sharing an excerpt with us today & for your generous giveaway!
Author bio:
Rose Fairbanks fell in love with Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy twelve years ago. Coincidentally, or perhaps not, she also met her real life Mr. Darcy twelve years ago. They had their series of missteps, just like Elizabeth and Darcy, but are now teaching the admiring multitude what happiness in marriage really looks like and have been blessed with two children, a four year old son and a one year old daughter. ! She proudly admits to her Darcy obsession, addictions to reading, chocolate and sweet tea, is always in the mood for a good debate and dearly loves to laugh.
oh Elizabeth, so stubborn
ReplyDeletemeikleblog at gmail dot com
They're path together can never be entirely easy, can it? Good luck and thanks for commenting!
DeleteLizzy is good at refusing proposals. She believed practice makes perfect and thus increase the affection of Mr.Darcy~~~[grinning like Mr.Collins]
ReplyDeleteKandy : kandychula@yahoo.com
She refuses him twice in this story! Poor man! Good luck!
DeleteTwice! why do I delight and cringe at the same time :)
DeleteElizabeth's refusals show her power in the choice od who she chooses to fall in love with. That's why they are my favorite
ReplyDeleteBalcitablue@gmail.com
I really think you're right. I'm slightly obsessed with forced marriage scenarios but in the end I've always had it be Lizzy's choice before the marriage takes place, even if she doesn't quite understand all of her feelings at the time. I've written three stories where it's a forced engagement/compromised reputation issue and she realizes her feelings at a different spot in each one (including after the marriage in one) but I've yet to do a situation where she is kicking and screaming at the altar. I always like her getting to express her opinion at some point! Good luck int he giveaway!
DeleteOh, poor Darcy! I loved the excerpt, but I am always sad when I read scenes like that. I understand Elizabeth's refusal in the original novel, and in many other Austen inspired books I have read. But I always feel sorry when they both suffer! Thanks for the giveaway :)
ReplyDeletenewyorkgirl82(at)gmail(dot)com
This is one of the added scenes and it really helped change the tone of the story. I've only done a few real refusal scenes, I tend to try to avoid it by forcing the engagement, or altering the dynamics of things before the proposal but it's hard to write the heartbreak. It doesn't last long in this one, if that helps at all. Good luck!
DeleteTERESITA
ReplyDeleteI don't really enjoy the scene. I always cringe when someone gets embarrassed or disappointed. tgruy at netscape dot net
(COMMENT posted on behalf of Teresita)